Theory of Love Ep.1: “เพื่อนสนิท” (Dear Dakanda)

Though I haven’t reviewed anything in a fat while, I think that this is a series worth devoting my time to reviewing not only as a TV lover but as a movie lover, as well. I really think some of you will enjoy this drama quite a lot. Theory of Love is a Thai drama that, though I am a lover of Thai dramas in general, might be a master-class level of artistry that any film/TV lover could appreciate.

Following the lives of four third year film students, affectionately known as The Gangsters, Theory of Love tells the story of Third (played by Gun Atthaphan Phunsawat), Khai (played by Off Jumpol Adulkittiporn), Two (played by White Nawat Phumphothingam), and Bone (played by Mike Chinnarat Siriphongchawalit). The four of them are the most popular guys on campus because they’re all experts in their own area of focus and they’re handsome guys. Khai, Bone, and Two can get any girls they want whenever they want to get them with their popularity and good looks.

But Third has a secret: he’s been in love with Khai since they met the first day of university.

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Left to right: Khai, Bone, Third, Two

What makes Theory of Love so unique isn’t the (very common) ‘secretly in love with my best friend’ trope, but rather how this series approaches things. Ignoring the incredible acting, the intricate and perfect writing, and cinematography that some Hollywood films could learn a thing or two from, this series about film students presents itself in a way that every episode is titled after a famous romance movie and has Easter eggs from that movie throughout that episode.

This first episode is based on the film Dear Dakanda. I planned to review every episode and the movie it’s titled after and post them simultaneously, but I cannot find a single way to access Dear Dakanda, so this first episode will have to be one I don’t do that with. However, for both your and my information, let’s look at the summary of Dear Dakanda.

“Dear Dakanda” poses the question “What would you do when you fall in love with your best friend?”

Khaiyoi, a shy young art student, develops feelings for a classmate Dakanada. The couple become close friends, but Khaiyoi is unable to express his true feelings for her.

It’s entirely understandable why they started with Dear Dakanda to get us started in what will be a journey of ups and downs for a young man in love with his best friend.

Before getting into the actual first episode after giving an overview of what this show is about, I’ll begin by saying that Thai actors are like British actors: If you’ve seen them in one thing, you’ll see them in more. I’ve seen all but Bone in various other things, sometimes in multiple things, and I knew going in that Gun is one of the best actors I’ve ever seen on a screen. This person would already have been cast in an Oscar winning film if Hollywood looked for true talent outside of Western actors more often. And let me tell you, Third is possibly his best performance out of all the amazing ones I’ve seen.

gun1We meet Third doing something many of those reading this who follow me have done: reviewing movies. Our first interaction with him is watching Third record movie reviews for romance movies, including Dear Dakanda, for his vlog, which is shown to be very popular, but made even more so by the handsome man hanging around in the background of each video: Khai.

For the first episode, the intro scene is very long (like 10 minutes) before the title sequence because Third is setting up the entire story for us: he met Khai first day of khai1university when they were doing an activity where they wore characters from famous movies on headbands and the new students have to find the matching character from that same movie, and when he looked into Khai’s eyes, he knew. As we learn about who Khai is as a person through Third listing his flaws, we learn he’s not the type of guy that Third has any chance of getting to love him back.

“Even though Khai has countless flaws, those flaws can’t compare to this one: He makes me fall in love.”

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The use of lighting and cinematography in this series is so perfect at showing us the dichotomy of being in love with someone and having those warm, fuzzy feelings as a contrast to his acting. You can see the anguish in his eyes as he looks at the love of his life who can never know how much he loves him. It’s so smart and so effective in giving us this dream world feeling while the actor reminds us it’s just that, a dream world.

And then we have the INCREDIBLE intro-music for this series. This drama has one of the best OSTs I’ve ever heard, but this introduction fully embodies the spirit and feeling of this drama in that it is musically hopeful yet sorrowful? It’s almost nostalgic or wistful feeling where you know there is pain but there’s that lingering hope of ‘just maybe’. The music is just perfect for what we know is going to be a long, painful road ahead of us.

That said, it isn’t all doom and gloom. There’s a lot of comedy that doesn’t feel out of place, such as Third’s ‘cry fully clothed in the shower’ scenes that we get in this first episode. There are plenty of comedic moments and light-hearted friendship themes that it isn’t all drama and depression. I really enjoy that they find a perfect balance in this first episode to not put people off from continuing but rather bring a balance so that it’s not so heartbreaking you can’t take continuing with it.

In this first episode, we get a good sense of how badly Khai takes advantage of Third’s friendship, and it almost makes you want to hate him at points, but then he turns around and does something so kind and loving that you remember that, though he’s kind of a jerk, Khai loves Third so much, even if it’s just as his best friend. That’s the best part about Third’s character: You can’t find him pathetic, because for all the bad shit Khai does to him (not too extreme, but the little things build up), he turns it around and is a loyal, faithful friend who cares for Third too much for Third to give up on him just because he asks so much of him and doesn’t return the favors often.

Last thing I want to touch on is how Third’s first person narration of his internal thoughts is so perfect. I normally hate that sort of thing, but for once, it’s absolutely the best thing they could have done with this show.

“I love him, but it means nothing to him.”

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They could have honestly let this entire show be carried on Gun’s acting alone, but they don’t. They put so much thought into every detail, into the narration, into the cinematography, into the writing of these utterly perfect lines, and even into making each character as perfectly flawed as possible but not irredeemable (at least in this first episode), and it all adds up to be one of the best romance dramas I’ve ever watched.

I absolutely cannot wait to get onto the next episode and review it as well, and I really hope some of you give this series a shot after reading this. This series can be accessed for free and with subtitles usually within 3 days of the newest episode going up on GMMTV’s official YouTube. Please watch the official YouTube to appreciate this wonderful drama and feel free to reach out to me at my Twitter to talk about it when you do!

(Also if anybody can get me a link to Dear Dakanda I absolutely welcome the help!)

 

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A Look Into Me: The TV Lover

I have asked for TV shows to watch and have had several recommendations, but among them were Game of Thrones and for some reason, The Last Kingdom.

I assume this is because I have a history of love for historical series, which isn’t wrong. I love historical fiction. Let me tell you why I have tried and DO NOT watch both of these:

Rape.

I don’t read or watch anything with rape in it other than a single instance in which revenge is sought upon it. AKA Black Sails. ONCE there is a rape scene in Black Sails and shortly thereafter, because a prostitute is being raped, a lady pirate bands together with others and they MURDER all the rapists.

The only rape scene I’ve stomached since this is the one in the movie Wind River and after that, I fast-forward through it on re watch. There is no reason for rape in anything 90% of the time because there are 90 zillion other ways to progress a plot. Wind River is a special case, it’s about a known issue in America, the rape and murder rates of Native Americans. But IN GENERAL, you can have a female character progress WITHOUT her being fucking raped and I’m SICK of disgusting rape fantasy dick holes pretending that in the past, women were more raped than they are today like we don’t get raped at an ALARMING RATE these days, too!

Either way. If you can have dragons you can have zero rape. Just saying. Have your dragons murder would-be rapists. Until then, fuck you and the dragon you rode in on.

I’ll stick to TV shows with no rape.

 

Love Sick, Season 2

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So the other day I gave a brief intro and review of Season 1 of this Thai series called Love Sick. I now have seen all of season 2, and let me tell you….

This show was ABOVE AND BEYOND amazing! Oh my Gosh, you guys, this show is just quality TV. The main reason I watched this was it was a recommended gay romance series, and I have such low expectations for those that this one just blew my mind. The main reason it’s so good is because it’s not just about the main couple. There are so many other side plots and branches off of main stories and things of that nature that you cannot escape getting sucked into all the different characters lives. 1435241382

In season 2, there’s more focus on the girls at the convent and in particular, Jeed, Grace, Nan, and all of the drama revolving around those girls. Jeed in particular is a character you often hate but then find sympathy for (up until the ending where she does something TRULY WTF and the show just like lets her get away with it? Idk. That was a serious wtf for this show). Also, there’s a lot of drama about Aim in the earlier half of the series that makes you both hate her and feel sad for her. This show is just so good at making you look at these characters as if they are real people.

This also extends to some of the boys who get more focus in season 2. Season 1 had introduced most of the boys that didn’t get as much attention, but season 2 really gets in on d7837c53c43c1b93e4dffdff6fe88b30-lovesick-seriesPer and Mick and Pete and how they are linked to the rest of the main boys. I would say that Per is very much a Jeed of the boys group because this season reveals his best friend/next door neighbor, Win (who looks SUSPICIOUSLY LIKE figure skater Shoma Uno or more closely Shoma Uno’s little brother Itsuki, who looks like Shoma with smaller eyes, which is exactly what Win looks like), is gay. There is a whole lot of drama with Per and Win and Win’s boyfriend Mark. You go from thinking Per’s an amazing friend to thinking maybe Per and Win will get together to hating Per’s guts for something he does to rooting for him again for figure out he was an asshole before. Again, these kids are just so realistic and believable that you can’t help but see them as people, not just characters.

Also, Pang is still the sweetest baby sister. She’s so cute and she loves her big brother so much that you feel happy that Phun has someone like her always on his side. She actually reminds me a lot of my baby sister, Dallas.vlcsnap-3489022

But since the main focus of Love Sick is the romance between Phun and Noh, one of the main reasons this series is so amazing is because – SPOILER ALERT – they get a happy ending! There are bumps along the way, sure, but at its heart, the relationship between Phun and Noh is something so beautiful and so pure. It’s an amazing depiction of teenagers discovering who they are and being afraid of learning they’re queer but so adorably in love with each other that they can’t ignore it. The acting alone between Phun and Noh is worth watching just because when Phun looks at Noh, it’s got that “I love this human” quality that really takes skill for young actors to fully convey.

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There are only two season of this show, but it has a real ending, not some thrown together mess, and I cannot stress enough how high-quality of a TV series this is. There are flaws, sure, but overall if you make it past the first few episodes, this series will suck you in, get you invested, and make you fall in love with all these kids and the friendships and relationships they have, gay or straight.

Watch Love, Sick. You won’t regret it.

Love Sick (2014), Season One

Friends, while we all know my love for Thai movies (see: Bad Genius being one of the best movies of 2017) and especially Thai LGBT movies (Ever seen Love, Love Me??? SO GOOD!) but I’ve never actually watch a Thai drama before I fell down a hole of link-clicking and stumbled upon something absolutely magical:

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Love Sick

Love Sick is a Thai teen drama that centers around a group of kids who all know each other through various connections and the events and relationships in their lives. The series focuses mainly on Noh and Phun, two boys who go to the school the boys in this series go to. What starts with Phun needing a fake-boyfriend ends up being a series full of drama, twists and turns, and a dozen different story-lines going on between the various kids involved.

Season 1 is what I recently binged in every spare moment I had over the past week. Lunch break from work? Get in an episode! Doing cardio at the gym? EPISODE! Season 1 is 12 episodes long (with a season 2 that I think I read is 36) all of them approx 40 minutes run-time. Since I binged season 1, I’m going to do basically a list of the important people then a review of the season.

Here are the cast of main characters:

Noh: The most central character of all, Noh attends the boys school that most of the teen boys in this series attend. He’s the president of the music club at school and the whole series begins with him needing more funding for their club.

Phun: His father wants him to date a family friend’s daughter and he needs his little sister’s help to get out of it. The catch is that his sister is obsessed with BL (boys love) and he thinks she will only help if he has a boyfriend instead of his actual girlfriend. He offers to get Noh more funding if he pretends to be his boyfriend in front of his sister.

Pang: Phun’s baby sister who, with all her other 14 year old friends, ship all the hot and popular boys they know.

Aim: Phun’s girlfriend who attends school with Noh’s best friend/sort-of girlfriend.

Yuri (also called Yu often): Noh’s best friend who decides to start telling people they’re a couple and he just goes along with it, even though he has no feelings for her.

Jeed: A new girl at the girls school who is poor and therefore not very popular.

Khom: A boy who likes Jeed and becomes her boyfriend even though he’s also poor and pretending not to be.

Grace: A mean girl who tries to set the other girls against Jeed.

Mo: A girl attending the girls school who lives with her boyfriend, Moan, who is a cheating asshat.

The Angels: Hyper-femme gay boys at the boys school who are supported by many but bullied by a few.

(Obviously, there are a lot more characters, many of whom are important, but these are the most central ones for season 1)

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To be honest, the first episode is a hot mess. I almost didn’t continue the series after this. I see what they were trying to do now that I’ve seen the whole season, and that is introduce all the main characters. They try to start it out with everybody important on the screen for Aim’s birthday party, but the real take-away from this episode is, “Why does it feel like I’ve missed a lot???” You have fights and friendships and conversations that make no sense without context. If the synopsis didn’t include the talk about two teen boys who fake-date then fall in love, I would have had on clue who was supposed to be in my focus. If anything, Jeed seems like the main character in this episode. If you can muscle through this beginning, however, you start to get into the real story: The music club needs more funding and when Noh goes to the student council, he runs into Phun who offers him an opportunity. DUM DUM DUUUUM! It’s not the best beginning, and it took me a while to warm up to Noh, but it gets better after episode 1.

What we end up with through the series is a set of storylines that interweave that we follow along with. There’s the drama with Mo and Moan, but also with the introduction of Golf, a family friend of Mo’s that there is some tension with that never fully get explored in season 1. There’s Jeed and Khom and all the other girls around Jeed, including Mo. There’s Yuri, who is classmates with Jeed and Mo and Grace and all those girls, but is also Noh’s not-really-girlfriend. She calls herself that, and he agrees with her, but their dates are largely one-sided. Then there’s Phun and Aim and their relationship, there’s the music club, there’s Earn who is in the music club and has feelings for Noh so he’s jealous of Phun and Phun is jealous of him. Then beyond relationship drama, there’s the Angels and the struggle between those who bully them and those who support them.

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And while this sounds like your typical teen soap opera, it’s actually really full of moving story lines, very realistic issues, and some pretty great acting. The girl who plays Jeed is really good. Jeed isn’t the most likeable character, but you still feel like she’s REAL the whole time. Noh is harder to get into, honestly, than Jeed is. Noh isn’t poorly acted, and the character isn’t flat, but there’s just this thing Noh has where the actor plays him as not one to put his emotions out there. You have one scene in particular that’s so gut-wrenching because Phun wears his heart on his sleeve, and when he’s upset you see it straight away, but Noh seems to be fully cool and collected until suddenly he’s crying and you’re reminded, ‘oh yeah, Noh feels just as confused and conflicted as Phun does’. It is effective and unique of a performance, but it’s harder to connect to.

I love that this series doesn’t shy away from things. It is a more realistic depiction of teens in girls schools and boys schools and the way that girls aren’t so very different from boys and vice versa. There’s a lot of emphasis on the individuality of the characters. Even in the ‘mean girls’ group, the different girls aren’t just mirrors of one another, but seem like real-life girls. The Angels group are particularly great for this because you have a couple of sets of really femme boys set alongside a good handful of other boys who are also obviously queer but not stereotypical femme like the Angels. And the Angels aren’t the butts of every joke, either. Most of the students at the school accept them as just another clique and even defend them against the guy who doesn’t want to rock the boat with the teachers and parents.

What I love most of all, however, is Phun and Noh’s relationship and how it develops over season 1. It goes from not-even-friends to friends to something more, and though they come to an understanding (I won’t spoiler it, but let’s say it’s very mature but kinda questionable how they choose to handle their feelings), they’re never shown having a gay panic over one another. They don’t let their friends know they feel that way about each other, but it’s not because of that. Their relationship drama is based on girlfriends already in their lives, not the fact they’ve never been gay before. HOWEVER, that isn’t glossed over. I love that there is a depiction of fear of homophobia (and real homophobia for other characters), but these kids are mature enough to have more serious issues to face than just ‘I’m gay, oh god’. It’s very developed and nuanced of a relationship.

Honestly, I would say this is like the Thai Degrassi except I never liked Degrassi. The feeling is the same, but it’s just far more enjoyable of a series. Also way less depressing. I cannot WAIT to get into season 2, and I really hope someone checks this one out after reading this post!

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So let me know what you guys think. Do you know this series? Do you like it? Have you heard of it but not seen it? If you have seen it, do you agree with my points on season 1? As always, you can hit me up here or over at Twitter. Feel free to come chat Love Sick with me any time!

Tonight We Said Goodbye to Halt and Catch Fire

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I’ve watched a lot of TV shows in my life, but tonight I watched the finale of one of the most incredibly inventive, sincere, and unique TV shows I’ve ever watched. There will never be anything quite like Halt and Catch Fire again, I believe. Tonight’s end was the culmination of four years of something so special that I’m not sure how to put into words how grateful I am to AMC for finishing this series the way it deserved to be finished when by all rights it should have been cancelled long ago. There were weeks that this show got less than 200,000 viewers. For the duration, the ratings were rock bottom. I think there were a few episodes that, at its peak, might have hit 2 million viewers, but for the most part, nobody watched this show. It never got the awards recognition it deserved, it never got the viewers it deserved, and it never got the sheer attention that this incredible show warranted.

And I feel sorry for everybody that missed out.

Tonight’s two-hour finale was pretty much just a ‘everybody says goodbye’ kind of episode, one that let us see where everyone ended up and how their lives are going. But more than that, it was really about new beginnings and everybody continuing on in the same way that though some things must come to an end, it doesn’t mean that they weren’t worth having in the first place. Joanie left to travel the world and find herself halt-and-catch-fire-episode-409-donna-bishe-2-935with her new beginning. Cameron and Joe, though they really did love each other, just weren’t meant to be, so Joe went back east and found a new start, this time as a humanities teacher. Haley keeps her dad close as she starts over with who she wants to be and who she’s growing into. Cameron planned to leave and travel the country and start over, while Donna finally has reached the point where she realizes she wants to create again. The final visit to the Mutiny building they did together was just something incredible. That whole Phoenix scene was something so beautiful and such a perfect synecdoche of the entire story of their lives. I absolutely loved that the ending is a new beginning for Donna and Cameron. Their friendship/rivalry has been something so beautiful to watch build and change that this seems like the absolute most perfect ending for them, in that it’s not an ending at all.

Halt and Catch Fire involves so much that I want to see on television and rarely do, and all of it was in one package. The only reason I even heard of this show is because my friend was a big Lee Pace fan and talked about it. I didn’t watch it until after season 1 had already aired, and within a single episode, I was hooked. These characters were all so human. It sounds simple, but it’s not. Very few pieces of fiction manage to capture halt-and-catch-fire-episode-409-donna-bishe-5-935characters who are so real that you can understand them even when you hate what they’re doing. They all had flaws. There were no perfect people, it was always just people. The way they grew and changed over the years was just beautifully written and crafted into something perfectly believable. There’s just something so wonderful about the way we watched a decade of some people’s lives on our screen. That’s really what it feels like.

Artistically, there’s so much to be said about the way this show was crafted all these years. The cinematography is unparalleled, the sound work is impeccable, the costuming is phenomenal, the performances of the actors was always just fantastic, and this was just something so well directed that it never, not once, felt anything less than authentic. But more than that, there’s so much content here that fulfills the wants in representation of women and queer people that’s missing.

The women in this show. Good God, every woman in this entire four season series is a person. That sounds ridiculously obvious to those who don’t recognize the failures of female representation in media, but to have the women matter so much and be flawed and more than just their relationship to a man is something so special. Donna in halt-and-catch-fire-episode-410-cameron-davis-935particular is so amazing because she exemplifies everything a woman can be all in one person: She’s a mother and a wife, but she’s also an intellectual and a creator. She can solder circuits and build a company, she can become a high-powered business leader in the tech industry in the 80s and 90s and still have compassion and humanity. This character not just being what she was but doing it alongside another woman of similar strengths and weaknesses and working together and against each other and just being people is something so revolutionary because you don’t see that on movies and TV. You don’t see women doing their own thing without sacrificing the other parts of their lives. You don’t see women being women, not just a wife or mother or love interest or daughter unless they are not those things at all. To show women who are badass but not cold and distant, nurturing but still leaders, the sum of both mother/lover AND entrepreneur all without sacrificing either thing… it’s just beautiful.

Similarly, this was the first show I ever saw with a bisexual character whose sexuality was never the butt of a joke. They don’t shy away from Joe being bisexual a single time. The whole series long, who he is is never used as a plot device. Shit, he was openly bisexual in the 80s and 90s on this show and yet it never turned to something about AIDs or his sexuality being used against him some way. He’s just a character who happens to be bisexual. We see him with men and women and it’s never a big deal. It’s just him. As ahalt-and-catch-fire-episode-410-joe-pace-2-935 bisexual person, when I first realized what was happening, I couldn’t believe that it was real. I was seeing a bisexual person whose sexuality wasn’t a punchline or tragedy trope. Even though his main love interest for the duration of the series is a woman, they don’t magically turn him straight, he has male lovers and boyfriends in the background and it’s never shied away from. And then to have the reveal at the end that Hailey, one of the children we’ve watched grow up, be a lesbian and have it, once again, not be a big deal, it was just great. Hers was a bit more of a plot point, because she was struggling and the ‘why’ turned out to be that she’s met a girl she likes, but at no point did anybody confront her over it. Even Joe, he just recognized it in her and didn’t treat her differently. There’s just something so different about how this show dealt with sexuality that, much like the women, it feels different and special and I’m so thankful I got to see this.

On episode one, we saw Joe MacMillan roll into town and change the lives of a whole group of people forever, and much like he said both to Gordon and to Cameron, he was ‘the thing that gets you to the other thing’. He got them to where they are. He altered the courses of their lives forever. I think it’s safe to say that after four seasons, Halt and Catch Fire was the thing that got us all to the other thing, and that is the experience of a rock solid TV show that will forever alter each and every viewer’s expectations for television in the future.

I will miss this show more than I probably have ever missed any show, and that’s saying a lot. I genuinely am grateful to AMC for giving us something this wonderful. I hope that you all have enjoyed this journey that we’ve shared together, and as always, and for the last time, I welcome you to comment or tweet me and keep the conversation about this groundbreaking TV series going.

Thank you, all of you, for reading along with me for the past two seasons in which I’ve been doing these review posts. I’m very grateful for your interactions.

 

Halt and Catch Fire Dehydrates Viewers With Its Penultimate Episode

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If you’re anything like me, you love Halt and Catch Fire because the characters are so human and realistic and we feel them like they’re in the world with us. After Gordon’s death last week, I knew all along that this episode would be really sad, but I should have known that it would feel real just like everything else in this show.

I don’t have nearly as much to say this week simply because the amount of grief the characters are suffering this episode was so palpable that I feel like I’ve lost a friend, too. Gordon was a friend to us all. Watching these characters we’ve come to know and love all this time suffer is just heartbreaking. The worst part of all of it was the girls. Everything with the girls was so gut-wrenching. Joe’s pain was terrible, but the way the girls reacted to things was so realistic and painful. Seeing Hailey and Joe hacf_408_tr_0627_0552-rttogether was beautiful and yet so sad, too. And the way that Joanie and Donna used Gordon against one another was just so hard to see. The part where Hailey and Joanie hugged and lay together in the bed and Hailey asked, “You’re not gonna go away, too, are you?” just broke me. That’s basically all I can say about this episode, honestly. My heart is broken. I cried so much watching this episode that every time I about stopped, something made me start up again.

If you had asked me in season 1 if Gordon dying would do this to me, I would have never imagined the answer would be yes.

Since I did a really terrible job reviewing this week, please feel free to comment with things you want to talk about, either here or on twitter, because I feel really bad about being too sad to really give a solid post to you guys.

Halt and Catch Fire’s Long Awaited Tragedy Finally Happens

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I’ve been expecting this to come since… hell, the season Gordon got diagnosed. I really expected it after the episode where there were all the lens flares while Gordon burned his symptom journals. That said, I never thought this episode would be the one where it finally happened. Yes, my dear readers and fellow Halt views, the tragedy we all knew would come sooner or later has finally happened.

Gordon Clarke is dead.

In a lot of ways, I feel like, looking back, I should’ve known this episode was going to end this way. This whole episode felt to me like one of the episodes that gives us a ‘so this is where everybody is at’ rundown before a big shift. Viewing the episode through, I thought the big shift was going to be Comet’s big re-design/re-launch, because we kept talking about all the characters and where they are right now in their lives and in proximity to each other. But after it’s over, I feel like I understand better now that this was a snapshot of Gordon Clarke’s last day on earth with of all those he cares about most.

We started out with Gordon and his daughters, dealing with the fact that he and Haley had this falling out, him knowing that Haley is gay now but her not knowing he knows, and with Joanie trying to talk to him about her sister in that ‘I know her better than you’ halt-and-catch-fire-episode-407-donna-bishe-3-935way that sisters have (we do, trust me). The nostalgia with which he goes around Haley’s room later on to return her test to her helped remind us how much of their lives we’ve seen so far. We viewers have watched the Clarke family grow up and change for over a decade now, and this is another change that is a forever change the family is now facing. It’s so hard to see Gordon’s last interactions with his children be something so tense, but at least we got the sweet moment where Joe called Haley to ask her to come back, and to have her tell her dad “I’ll see you tonight” even though, crushingly, it wasn’t true. My mother lost her dad when she was a teenager, and to have a real understanding of how much Haley and Joanie won’t get with their dad is so upsetting. (Yes, it’s fiction, but in that context, they are still ‘people’.) It’s just good that they didn’t have a fight be their last interaction, however indirect. It still hurts to think that Haley won’t ever get to hear from Gordon that he knows she’s gay and accepts her for it.

Beyond the children, there were a lot of allusions to the past this episode that should have made me realize where it was going. Bos getting married at the start should’ve really given me a clue, because Halt and Catch Fire is the type of show that would balance a beginning with an ending, and the only real ending that was coming down thehalt-and-catch-fire-episode-407-donna-bishe-2-935 pipe all along was the ending of Gordon’s life. We had a lot of talk about the people they used to be versus the people they’ve become as well. Cameron mentioning her and Joe both having failed marriages in the past (I had forgotten he was married before, actually), Alexa bringing up Cameron’s time at Mutiny and her rivalry with Donna and how their visions changed along the way, Joe talking to Donna about knowing what it’s like to have people think of you as ruthless, all of these things were ways of bringing the past into the present in such a skillful way that we viewers are reminded of who these people used to be and where they are now. It forces you to think about their stories and their lives and how naturally all of this progression has gone, and it puts you in a mood of caring more about them before it ultimately pulled the rug out from under us and took one of them away.

This episode is, and I highly suspect next week’s episode will also be, a huge reminder that this show is made so perfect by its writing. Yes, the acting is impeccable, the cinematography is the stuff that would win film DP’s Oscars, and the sound work is mind-blowing. But this show? It’s always been about the writing. The writers of this show are one of the main reasons that Halt and Catch Fire deserves to be on everybody’s top 10 shows of all time list. It’s truly worth of AMC giving it the full four seasons in spite of absolutely shit ratings. There are episodes of this show that have only had 100,000 viewers. That’s how low the ratings for Halt are. But it’s always worthy of not being canceled and I’m so grateful that AMC recognized this and finished it. I’ll be heartbroken when it’s gone, but the writing of this show is possibly the best I’ve ever seen.

halt-and-catch-fire-episode-407-gordon-mcnairy-935I’m going to miss Gordon Clarke – or Weirdy McBeardy as my friend and I started calling him way back in season 1 – more than I have most any character on TV, not because I thought he was ever perfect or someone to admire, but because he’s written and developed in a way that’s so human that it hurts. Halt and Catch Fire is something so special, and to have a lead character die is just so painful and yet, the way it was done, with his last dying moments being a hallucination of the lives of his children, was so fair to him, and I like to think that, as tragic as it is, Gordon Clarke got the ending he deserved.

There’s only two weeks of this show left and I’m sure all of you are just as devastated by that thought as I am, so please, feel free to comment or tweet me about Halt and Catch Fire while we still can.